by Bruce Morris

Perpend

Everybody loves to hate it. Everybody needs it - don't trust anyone that says they don't. Even the weeniest prop head among us occasionally needs the services of someone whose propeller spins a little faster than theirs and the most common way (not always the easiest and quickest or best) to get that help is - I know this is hard to swallow - to call tech support.
September 1996

A couple of years ago I was working on a tech support article for a magazine and traveled to Dell and Microsoft to tour their tech support operations. Later, working at Gateway, I realized that what I saw at Microsoft and Dell was fairly typical. These people are really trying hard to do their job - shame it's a bit like sweeping sand on the beach. Anyway here goes.

Have you ever wondered what it might be like in the tech support trenches? Have you ever wondered where companies like Microsoft, Dell and Gateway find all the weenies they need with the knowledge necessary to hold the hands of phone - in users while they talk them through their computing nightmares? To get a feel for what it's like on the other end of the phone I spent a day at Dell's tech support center in Austin talking to the front line tech support troops and finding out about how a huge, full-service tech support center is run. I met with their Director of Technical Support and grilled him and the Manager of the Spare Parts Division, and listened in on a Technical Account Representative as he fielded calls from vexed users from all over the country.

"Hello, Dell tech support, this is Paul Prophead. How can I help you?"

"This is Mr. Toad from XYZ Corp and I just got a call from our guys in Peoria. Our server's down. They think it might have been a power surge. They tell me you guys can't get out there to fix it 'til Monday [today's Friday]."

"Okay, Mr. Toad, what's the phone number where you are now?"

"I'm in a phone booth. It's 333-555-1212"

"What's the serial number from the computer?"

"I don't know what it is."

"Okay, what's your customer ID?"

"I don't know that either. I'm in Chicago in a phone booth. I'm on travel. The server went down yesterday and I just found out about it when I called in a few minutes ago. We need to get you guys out there sooner than Monday. Our service contract specifies 2 day service."

All this time Paul is tapping on his computer trying to find Mr. Toad in the Dell customer database. Dell, typical of major tech support operations, maintains a sophisticated database on all customers with details of their systems and tech support history. Paul manages to figure out which computer has crashed by searching XYZ Corp's computers by location (Peoria).

"Okay, Mr. Toad, I've found your server in our database and we can have someone on-site Monday. I've found out which parts are scheduled to be sent out with our service person. Your support contract does not include Saturday service but I am trying to find out what it will cost for a Saturday call."

This pacified Mr. Toad and I left them to listen in on a caller with complicated interrupt and DMA conflicts trying to install a network interface card. This one promised to be a long slog as the tech support representative and the customer prepared to pull out boards and start reinstalling them one by one to zero in on the offending hardware item.

These were apparently typical calls for Dell tech support. Dell has Technical Support Contracts for commercial customers promising a variety of response times and various levels of support. Dell also offers free tech support to the everyday user. Dell turns away no callers and supports any product or system a caller wishes to discuss if purchased from Dell. If a caller asks for help with an obscure program that wasn't even purchased from Dell, tech support will make a manful effort to help or try to direct the caller to someone who can help. Maintaining this level of service is an expensive proposition. Dell fields between 12-14 thousand calls per 24 hour day and pays 400 support personnel anywhere from $20,000 to $30,000 per year. That works out to 10 million dollars a year just for salaries. Add office overhead like rent, light bill, computer equipment, management, Human Resources and a phone bill so enourmous that I don't even want to ask how much it might be, and you've got a huge cost added to the price of every computer Dell sells.

The technical support operation is spread over several buildings. The main area consists of two huge rooms that seem to be dominated by large electronic signs mounted high on the walls that display up-to-the-minute details about how many people are on hold and how long the longest has been waiting. I didn't see the signs go over 3 minutes. The rooms are filled with your standard office cubicles manned by propeller heads recruited from around the country through, for the most part, job fairs held at small technical schools and community colleges. After at least three weeks of basic Dell training, new tech support personnel are put to work and told to "touch the customer". Calls are monitored to evaluate a tech's politeness and technical competence. Techs monitoring calls can jump in with advice on particularly difficult problems.

Dell's Director of Technical Support told me few techs suffer from burn out or boredom and that the technical support department is frequently a route to advancement within Dell. I have to say this is in direct contradiction with what I found at Gateway and from talking to tech's at several other comapnies. I suspect it's the standard PR patter when asked such things. Techs burn out quickly and, since they're hard to recruit, there is a tendency to not let them transfer out to better positions.

Dell maintains a well stocked support lab with one wall full of shelves of every type of software imaginable in every version possible. At least one unit of every type of computer Dell has ever sold are also in the lab so that particularly sticky problems can be simulated on systems set up to match the customer's system.

The tricky problems can usually be solved but by far the bulk of calls concern everyday MS-DOS and Windows problems. Average, everyday business users who are unfamiliar with how to get things running right occupy most techs' time.

I had expected to see sweaty, wild haired geek-type tech support people jumping up and down on their desks with their ties at half mast and a phone glued to their ear screaming things like "read the #*%$@# manual stupid!" but instead the atmosphere is one much like in any cubicle type office environment with the most prominent sound being the gentle purring of phones.

Three full time CompuServe techs, one BBS guy, several Technical Account Representatives (and of course WebTechs) are assigned to particular accounts, and another European support center in Amsterdam rounds out Dell's tech support program. The efficiency of the operation was obvious to me as I walked around and observed the quiet, unexcited manner of the techs at work. According to Dell's Director of Technical Support, 90% of the calls are handled within 6 minutes or less. The most common problems are IRQ conflicts with customer installed add-in boards. The most common complaint is no big surprise: customers hate being greeted and put on hold by voice mail systems. Dell tries to provide 100% service even for problems that have nothing to do with Dell.

I tried really hard to get the techs to tell me some funny stories about people trying to cram 10 floppies at once into the drive or trying to use a mouse upside down but their boss must have told them to be on their best behavior. I got no funny stories and I'm sure they must get together in the coffee room and marvel over the stupidity of nerds like myself and the crazy things we manage to do to screw up our computers. Contrary to what many have suggested, my visit to Dell tech support was not the source for the question in my last Windows Weenie column about the guy that "lost my flag and now Windows won't work anymore." That guy tried to reach me at my office and it took us more than Dell's average 6 minutes to figure out that what he had done was somehow delete enough Windows system files so that the Windows "flag" logo and the rest of Windows were gone.

The next time you call tech support somewhere, RTFM first, be patient while interfacing with voicemail, and realize that soon, if hardware and software prices are going to remain in free-fall, we will all be paying by the minute for first class support like that now offered by Dell and Gateway 2000 for free.

"I hereby promise to spill the beans on the crazy stuff I heard about weird customers and amusing tech support stories at Gateway just as soon as my NDA expires."